When they ask themselves “But how can I be even creepier?”
Does anything good come out of meta?
Filming people in public is becoming way to socially acceptable. I hate it.
Cowardice in general has become way too socially acceptable. Actually the norm. If you G-d forbid act so that you can be unambiguously determined as not a coward, then G-d help you.
And cowards understand each other very well. You can even expose them all as cowards, they’ll accept the shame and admit you’re right and all such, and then they’ll still feel victorious, because in a society of cowards cowardice always wins in all ways but one.
Living like “Hagakure” for real is perhaps the only way to preserve your humanity in some life situations, but that won’t lead to happiness. And the author of “Hagakure” refused to commit seppuku when his suzerain died, because “times have changed”.
And meeting people who live by those principles, you damn hard wish they hid or cowered or stepped back that one time that led them to pain for their remaining lives from those not worth their breath.
I’m thinking of a woman, by the way. Men of that quality are far more rare.
Eeuww…yikes.
Every single ‘manfluencer’ is a closeted loser who specifically wants to take your money and cause you to be alone and miserable like they are. Every time. They should be openly ridiculed and loathed, and I hope this trend just elicits legal action and ends quickly, and that minimal harm is done to the victims in the process.
I dunno. From my experience, just pretending you’re “all that” is enough to make women and girls go crazy.
I bet you the Venn diagram of doing this crap and being incapable of comprehending why women picked the bear is a perfect circle.
What does “picked the bear” mean?
If you are a woman alone in the woods, would you rather come across an unknown man, or a bear? It’s a thought experiment. As a human woman, which represents a greater immanent threat?
Are there non human women?
See Pam Bondi.
I would have given Kristi Noem as an example. Fun fact: her full name is Kristi Lynn Arnold Noem
The question always struck me as dumb. Because it doesn’t make any attempt to clarify what geographic region this question takes place.
I don’t care what you’re afraid of a man doing, a polar bear is ALWAYS the worse choice.
But not all bears are as aggressive as polar bears. Some bears will run away from you if you chase them. Some bears will end you if you chase them.
Of coarse you can’t determine how dangerous a man is based on region. But you can likely determine which regions have dangerous bears.
Without wading into all the technicalities, could we perhaps agree that if you have to say, “what kind of bear tho’,” that we are already in troubling territory?
Do polar bears occupy habitat that could realistically be called “the woods”?
I always assumed this question was referring to a brown bear - black bears are pussies and polar bears are instadeath. Pandas are adorable, obviously better than meeting a man. Other species are unlikely for most english speaking people to meet in the woods. Brown bears are the only species that make this question interesting.
Where I’m from, you’re just as likely to get a polar bear as a black or brown bear in the woods. So it’s all unrealistic.
It’s a stupid thought experiment, though, because I think that woman who chose the bear have not seriously considered the possibility that it might be a polar bear!
(Like, if it’s a regular bear then you are probably fine, but you have to think about the worst case scenario here!)
Wow are you entirely missing the point.
Yeah bro. It’s obviously a grizzly because polar bears are going extinct soon.
My point is that global warming is going to drive them down south, and I don’t think that any of us are prepared for this.
I for one am trying to do my part by correcting one thought experiment at a time!
You didn’t correct it though. You added a random element to an existing thought experiment based on the way the world is as we currently know it. That’s like “correcting” the trolley problem by saying “but what if aliens appeared with a second switch that saved everyone!?”
All I am saying is that if polar bears were wandering around the forests then people might have responded differently.
But having said that, arguably the thought experiment is not meant to be taken too literally in the first place. It is really more like meme mean to be shared and responded to than a serious scientific assessment of the actual risk involved in running across a man versus a bear, especially since the risk posed by the bear depends on the region and what species live there.
But of course, all of this is besides the point, because what is important about the thought experiment is not that so many women choose the bear by that it expresses a collective sentiment of general severe distrust towards men, which came about because enough men have regularly abused their position of strength and power—which, unlike assessments of the relative risk of men versus bears, is definitely backed up by statistics—to impose themselves physically on women, and this is a big societal problem regardless of whether it actually literally makes more sense to prefer running into a bear over a man in the woods.
And just to be clear, I am not criticizing the thought experiment so much as that I love the image of polar bears wandering around in the woods.
Polar bears do not live in the woods
Well then where the fuck do they shit?!?
I think those are the ones that shit on the pope?
Ah so the bears are catholic
I want to believe!
Fuck I hate being male sometimes. What swamp do these skeezy sexist MAGA guys crawl out of?
This particular sleaze is definitely male perpetuated and worth calling out. But shittiness knows no gender (or age or ethnicity for that matter.)
Well, he’s right
Of course he is. He’s in IT!
You’d be surprised how many of these guys didn’t vote for Trump. Incels and woman haters exist across the spectrum. What we need is for social media to actually ban this content. But it makes them money.
if it’s any consolation, does make the bar for picking up woman incredibly low, makes it easier for the rest of us i think. just don’t be a complete creep and your at top of the curve
I recently re-entered the dating pool for the first time in a decade and it’s incredible how much attention I get from just appearing clean, having my shit together, and not posting a picture with me holding a fish. Never got so much attention from women before in my life. Had a date in like one week.
The bar is very, very low. I am sorry, ladies out there.
Lots of women who I know and date say “the bar is in hell.” Fr just be a functional adult with good hygiene and emotional intelligence and you are in the top 1%.
and emotional intelligence
Thank you for telling me I’m unfit.
say “the bar is in hell.”
This reads like a joke or an exaggeration, but it’s really there.
I must be doing something wrong then lol
appearing clean
It means he’s attractive.
having my shit together
It means he has money.
If you lack both of these, it’s going to be rough.
It’s fun being deeply ashamed of your gender because some of us are filth and scum.
These fuckers harm everyone with their actions. Wish we could do something actionable about it.
This is honestly better than what I’ve encountered. At least they are trying to attract a woman.
There are types who can both hate a woman’s personality and envy those she likes and hate her for not liking them, all at the same time.
But yes, being male, I’ve been recently inspired by reading about medical advancements in procreation without boys. This will be necessary to counter the population growth on the side of various shmucks and their abused wives.
(I’ve recently learned I have no right to call myself a shmuck since 13 years ago.)
I remember ages ago some show on tv that had a prototype style of these glasses where the person also had to wear a huge backpack and it was like a gotcha style show but it turned out most people just wanted to try and help whoever was wearing the the stuff and I’m rambling.
The show skeeved me out but my parents were like “oh look how bulky it is, you’ll know if someone is using it!” And I tried to articulate yeah, and we use to only have record players and now I have a cd player but they waved it off.
Stomping around annoyed I was right!
EDIT: Return of the Glassholes
I would be interested in watching the crash reel though. Creeps.
I would watch someone successfully negotiating buying a used car for a good price at a dealer.
See, this is the kind of thing we need those glasses for. Just blur the face and the name tag, alter the voice. Not doxxing anyone. Then show what happened in a non-sexual situation.
But no. People have to use it like perverts.
There’s a word I could have done without in my vocabulary.
What, you don’t like being manfluenced? Something off-putting to you about manfluence? What’s wrong with being a manfluencing manfluencer?
They’ve got a case of manfluenza.
That’s some manfluency
Probably easier if they use their hands instead
Or if in America a fork lift.
I assure you, they can’t do that either
*Get approached by some dude in glasses
*He hits on you
*Leave
I feel bad for people who need glasses
This is just going to popularize thin rim glasses haha.
Yeah I was thinking, don’t these creepy glasses stand out?
I’ve already adopted the transparent frame: nothing to hide, only my undivided attention if they’d like to geek out about their special interests or just want someone to listen.
I just talk to women like I talk to men.
It’s how I talk to everyone when I’m not masking or following social scripts. It’s the most fun I get out of social interactions.
At least you think you do…
I’m definitely going for transparent frames of some sort when I get my next pair
I’m partial to OVVO, I tend to be pretty hard on frames (-8 prescription, I can’t not wear glasses), but the two pairs I’ve had have been nigh indestructible- deceptively sturdy especially given how thin and light they are. (Bonus points for not being part of the eyeglass cartel too)
OVVO: I wish they would use normal human models. These alien beings would look good with poop on their face.
I’m blind without my glasses. I’ve thought about surgery but I’m wear ansi safety glasses anyway - I know what it is like to go to the bathroom without my glasses - that is okay in the middle of the night - but I have no interest in my whole life being like that so I’m protecting my eyes as best I can.
The solution involves hammers.
While I’m a lesbian, I make a point to absolutely humiliate any man who has the audacity to come up to me and flirt while I’m minding my own fucking business trying to enjoy my day (see edit below for clarification on what I mean by “flirt” here). I’m fully aware I could just say “I’m a lesbian, fuck off”, and most of those guys would fuck off (please note, this also reveals homophobes that claim I just haven’t been with a “real man” yet, and those guys are absolute assholes that won’t take a fucking hint), but it’s so much more fun to absolutely destroy their ego instead.
*Looks over them like I’m checking them out*
*Laughter as if they’re pathetic*
“No, hun. I have standards”
*Shoos them away*
Granted, I open myself up to a lot more danger by doing this, because it often pisses them off, but it’s so worth it to see the dejected look on some of their faces. Bonus points for destroying whatever they say in response with more ego-shattering insults.
NOTE: I recommend other women don’t follow in my footsteps without some solid self-defense training and a can of maximum strength pepper spray. I cannot stress enough that there are men who do not take blows to their ego lightly, and will get very aggressive.
EDIT: I didn’t think this needed to be specified, but since y’all are making such a fuss in the comments, let me elaborate. It’s sexualization and objectification that get me heated. If you come up to me and compliment something genuine about me that isn’t some inherited part of my physical appearance (i.e. telling me you like how I did my hair today, or how my outfit comes together, or complimenting something you saw me do), I’m not gonna have any problem with you. Or perhaps you just treat me like any other human being and start a conversation and get to know something about me first. But if you come up to me and say shitty pick-up lines or say (or imply) that my body is making you horny, I’m gonna have an issue. Especially if I’m just trying to mind my own business because I don’t like being approached by men when I go out. It just so happens that almost every time I’m approached by a man who intends to flirt with me, they fall into the latter category. You wanna be respectful? I’ll politely turn you down.
Is it really necessary to be demeaning? I’m sure you feel like they all deserve it, and probably some of them do, but also some of them are probably decent people who are trying to be outgoing and probably had to work up a lot of courage to try to start a conversation with you.
Do you really need to crush them when a simple no will suffice? If they don’t take a simple no for an answer, then you know they deserve harsher treatment. But wanting to destroy someone’s spirit over a simple interaction seems a bit sadistic. I mean, how would you feel if someone did that to you?
See, this is flawed. You clearly don’t understand how demeaning it is for you to be approached sometimes multiple times a day to be treated like a sexual object while you’re just trying to go about your day. The context is important here. If I were doing this at a dating function, or an online dating app, obviously that would be ridiculous. But I (and many women like me) don’t want to be constantly sexualized and objectified in every aspect of my life. I don’t care what your intentions are, you’re ruining my day coming up to remind me of the rampant misogyny that fuels these interactions. You want to flirt with me? Get my fucking consent. It is not hard to flirt with me in a social context where it is acceptable to do so, where there is an expectation of it. And if a man came up to me during those contexts? Honestly, I’d be caught off guard and incredibly confused because I only attend gay/lesbian dating functions, so I’m not sure what exactly I’d do, but it would be much more understanding. Well, at least so long as they take no for an answer.
How about we stop normalizing objectifying women? If you’re interested in someone beyond a one night stand, here’s an idea: introduce yourself and get to know them. If you are looking for a one night stand, do it somewhere it’s more appropriate. I don’t want to be stopped while I’m shopping for my groceries to turn down men who are struggling to look anywhere but my chest. It’s dehumanizing. You wanna ruin my day? Don’t be surprised if I ruin yours.
Oh, and to answer your question, I don’t approach people on the street and sexualize them. And if I did, then I’d damn well deserve to be knocked down a peg. I don’t need a constant reminder that some random guy wants to fuck me. Perhaps if your flirting wasn’t exclusively made up of poorly packaged excuses to say how the way I look makes you horny, I’d be a bit more accepting. After all, a genuinely nice comment about something I’m in control of and not merely my physical appearance is welcome. In fact, I respond quite well to that. Flirt with me in a respectable way that doesn’t ruin my mood, and I’ll be nice and polite when I turn you down. But that almost never happens with men. It’s the blatant sexualization that I have a clear problem with, and that is when I go out of my way to attack someone’s ego. Any of the “decent people” who approach me can do so in a way that respects me and treats me like a real human being, and not merely an object to fulfill their horny desires.
You should know that the only people you’re going to affect are the ones who actually care about what you think of them.
The assholes are just ‘fishing’ and will completely forget about your response when they try to get with their next target.
You’re right in that one interaction is not going to fix an asshole, but perhaps if there were actual efforts being made in society to keep men like that in check, we’d see their prevalence decrease. As is, they’re allowed to exist nearly completely unchecked (and often thrive, in fact), and so I feel the need to be one of the few people to “check” them.
Anyone else coming up to me who’s making it clear they’re just trying to fuck me can eat a dick for all I care. Do that in a place where it’s appropriate, not when I’m out having fun with friends, or god forbid literally on a date with another woman. Want to flirt with me anyway? Well you’ll have much better luck doing it in a way that isn’t sexualizing me. Compliment how I did my hair that day, how my outfit comes together, or something I did that you feel is commendable. You’ll get a nice response with warmth and friendliness. It I can tell you’re flirting, I’ll politely let you down by saying I’m not interested in men. Call my ass big and allude to how much that turns you on and you’ll get a stone cold bitch who wants nothing to do with you.
Is it treating you like a sexual object to strike up a conversation? If they’re objectifying you, that’s one thing. Are they literally coming up to you and saying “Hey, wanna hook up?” Or do you consider it sexualization every time a man says hi?
Dating functions are one thing, but arguably only a small portion of dating activity takes place at those or begins from an interaction at one. And dating apps are notoriously toxic. The thing about genuine love is that it doesn’t happen when you mean it to. It’s unrealistic to expect to find it at those type of events. If it happens at all, it’s more likely to emerge organically. A chance encounter that turns into a coffee that turns into dinner that turns into three years and counting.
But if saying hi to that stranger with the cool style is inherently misogynistic, then how many chance encounters that would have had potential will be missed? That seems like a sad world, where everyone is isolated and no one is meeting the people who would be right for them because no one is talking or even beginning to get to know each other. And it seems like that’s the world we’re already living in.
Maybe I don’t quite get it, because I don’t understand flirting. I wouldn’t know how to do it if I set an intention to. I don’t really think about interactions as flirting. If I did I would just get nervous and awkward, and unable to think of anything to say. But retrospectively, there may have been times when I was trying to be friendly and outgoing that people thought I was flirting. I’m not really sure what counts as what. So should I have rbf all the time to avoid confusion?
If I’m interested in someone romantically, my first instinct isn’t to “flirt,” whatever it means. It’s more like “Can I learn her name? What can I learn about her personality? I wonder what she likes? Will she talk to me for long enough to develop a connection? How can I get to know her without sounding nosy?” In fact, when I really like someone I get so shy that she probably thinks I’m being standoffish.
The reverse is true too. I’ve thought someone was interested in me before, only to find out that she was just being friendly or had a bubbly personality. And likewise there have apparently been times when someone was dropping hints and they went right over my head. Clearly I don’t know “the code.”
And besides, how does one get consent to flirt? Do you literally say, “Hi, can I flirt with you?” I don’t know much about socializing, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how most people would do it, and it would come off as painfully awkward and cringe for everyone involved. What exactly are the logistics for requesting clearance to exchange lighthearted pleasantries in order to gauge whether someone might be interested in continuing the conversation? These things don’t come intuitively to me.
Is it treating you like a sexual object to strike up a conversation? If they’re objectifying you, that’s one thing. Are they literally coming up to you and saying “Hey, wanna hook up?” Or do you consider it sexualization every time a man says hi?
No, of course striking up a normal conversation is fine, I’m not gonna be mad at literally anyone for doing that; gender aside. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of some behaviors I have a problem with: coming up to me while clearly unable to keep your eyes off my body, using some shitty sexualizing pick-up line, saying something like “you’re hot” or “damn girl, you’ve got it going”, making comments solely about my inherited physical appearance (i.e. “nice ass”), alluding to how horny my body is making you, that kind of stuff. If someone comes up to me and gives me a genuine compliment (i.e. I love the way you did your hair, that outfit comes together really well, you did a really great job on [X thing they witnessed me do]), I’m not gonna go out of my way to check their ego.
Dating functions are one thing, but arguably only a small portion of dating activity takes place at those or begins from an interaction at one. And dating apps are notoriously toxic. The thing about genuine love is that it doesn’t happen when you mean it to. It’s unrealistic to expect to find it at those type of events. If it happens at all, it’s more likely to emerge organically. A chance encounter that turns into a coffee that turns into dinner that turns into three years and counting.
Yeah, and if someone comes up to me and actually tries to get to know me as a real, genuine human being, then that’s perfectly fine. If they make it clear they’re interested in me, then I’ll let them down gently, but getting to know someone in and of itself is not necessarily flirting (and I prefer not to imagine that anyone who strikes up a random conversation with me is in it for sex). Flirting, by definition, is acting in a way that shows you have sexual interest in the other person. To be honest, I’m not very comfortable in the idea that someone who hasn’t even asked my name has a sexual interest in me, but I’m not the type to engage in one night stands, either. I much prefer someone actually makes an effort to learn what I’m like before they express that interest.
Maybe I don’t quite get it, because I don’t understand flirting. I wouldn’t know how to do it if I set an intention to. I don’t really think about interactions as flirting. If I did I would just get nervous and awkward, and unable to think of anything to say. But retrospectively, there may have been times when I was trying to be friendly and outgoing that people thought I was flirting. I’m not really sure what counts as what. So should I have rbf all the time to avoid confusion?> If I’m interested in someone romantically, my first instinct isn’t to “flirt,” whatever it means. It’s more like “Can I learn her name? What can I learn about her personality? I wonder what she likes? Will she talk to me for long enough to develop a connection? How can I get to know her without sounding nosy?” In fact, when I really like someone I get so shy that she probably thinks I’m being standoffish.
You are not the problem, I promise. I think there’s a fundamental misunderstanding here of what kind of flirting I’m talking about, and how exactly it’s upsetting. Let me provide an anecdote: I’m shopping for my weekly groceries, trying to just make my way through the store and check out. I’m approached by a guy who clearly can’t keep his eyes off of me who makes some dirty joke about the contents of my cart. “You’re hot as fuck, you know that?”. That’s the kind of shit that ruins my day. I’m just out there trying to buy a fucking loaf of bread, not trying to catch a one night stand with some guy who thinks of me as nothing more than a means to satisfy his obvious desires.
And besides, how does one get consent to flirt? Do you literally say, “Hi, can I flirt with you?” I don’t know much about socializing, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how most people would do it, and it would come off as painfully awkward and cringe for everyone involved. What exactly are the logistics for requesting clearance to exchange lighthearted pleasantries in order to gauge whether someone might be interested in continuing the conversation? These things don’t come intuitively to me.
Start a conversation. Make a genuine compliment, or express lighthearted interest. See if it’s reciprocated. Reciprocation is the key there. Flirting is very different for lesbians, so I don’t think I’m the girl to ask for advice here, as I’ll never reciprocate flirting with a man anyway. For me, as a lesbian? Telling if there is mutual interest can often be done through eye contact and body language alone. Regardless, I’d throw out a light compliment about something I genuinely like about her (that she had agency in choosing, as that’s much more flattering than gawking about someone’s physical appearance), and see what kind of response I get. It’s an easy way to test the waters. If her tone, body language, eye contact, and response are playful, I know I can keep going. It’s fine to casually compliment someone’s appearance if they express mutual interest, but do so in a respectful way (i.e. no “wow, you have a nice rack”). I also don’t flirt purely for the sake of flirting. I interlace it into conversation, as if I’m interested in someone, I actually want to get to know her before continuing.
I see. It sounds like some of the men you’ve encountered are pigs, and I can see how putting up with that could make someone cynical. I’m sorry that you go through that.
I overthink a lot because I don’t want to come off that way. I guess I can’t quite imagine the depravity that’s out there, so when I hear people talk about it my mind fills in a placeholder of something more innocuous, and then I worry that the things I thought were innocuous were actually perceived as worse. And that can be kinda paralyzing when I both don’t want to be perceived as a pig and I also don’t want to ruin someone’s day.
I’d still be afraid to compliment someone’s hair or outfit though. You seem to have a rational view, but there have definitely been times when it seemed like people were assuming the worst about me and reacting as if I had said something as depraved as the things you described. It’s not a good feeling. I don’t want to be painted with the same brush.
These days I don’t make an effort to meet people anymore. I’ve learned to accept my loneliness. The dating scene is too hostile, and I was always nervous and awkward about it to begin with. Rejection was always painful, but now it seems to come with extra layers of insult and derision.
I was never really a catch anyway. If there’s anything even remotely likeable about me, someone else does it better, guaranteed. So why should I waste anyone’s time?
Plus, judging solely from most of the discourse online, it seems like women don’t want to be approached at all. So I don’t even try anymore. Like, if she would literally rather encounter a bear in the woods than talk to me, then I’ll just pretend I don’t see her. I just tell myself that I’m expressing my affection by ignoring everyone I’m potentially interested in. Even if I think she’s sending signals, with body language, eye contact, tone, or whatever else, I wouldn’t trust my perception. I would assume I’m misreading the situation, because that’s easier to cope with than risking putting myself out there and being wrong.
Good on you for being nasty to people looking for a connection.
If men don’t approach women and women don’t approach men, then we’re left with a loneliness epidem- ohhhhhh.
There are plenty of ways to approach a woman without making it clear that the only thing you care about is getting into her pants. I happen to respond quite well to normal friendliness and genuine compliments about things I’m in control of.
Also, implied homophobia noted.
